Monday, December 21, 2009

To the homeschoolers..

Do you feel like you always have to justify why you homeschool?

Do you ever feel like you not only have to show that your child is doing well without school, but they are doing *better* than they would at school?

Do you think every time your child makes a social gaffe, or is rude, or shy that people are thinking "He'd be better off at school"?

Do you think that every time your child doesn't know the answer to a question someone asks that they are thinking "They'd learn that at school"?

Or is it just me?


Butterfly said...

Yes. But the opposite is also true. Your children have good manners ... it must be because they are homeschooled!

Writing on Christmas cards, I had the kids sign a couple of special ones. I had to restrain myself from pressuring them to be neat (so others would think WOW, their homeschooling is going well). I opted for REAL ... although they "could" write their names well 2 years ago, we haven't done much writing lately. People might judge us, but I'm choosing not to be judged, because I know what my kids have REALLY achieved lately.

Obviously I'm feeling positive today. We'll see whether I feel the same in a few weeks, after doing the rounds of all our relatives!

Suji said...

Yes, yes, yes, yes and no.

You're not the only one! But I can't imagine sending him to school despite all the yes-es and risk seeing him lose his spark. Even today we had an episode that made me think "maybe he wouldn't be like that if he was in school". It's hard. We have to live with these questions every day. But I bet one day of school will make us change our minds.

Caz said...

I think others EXPECT me to.. but I have just started refusing to engage this year.

DH's nana for example, asks me hows school going for the kids every.time we see her. My stock answer is 'great' and then I move one to something else. Well she got dh last week, mainly because I wasn't there. Dh said 'oh they are still hs'ing and that won't be changing' and he proceeded to tell her WHY it's so much better lol.

I'm hoping that now that she see's that he is 100% behind it as well, that maybe her quizzing of me & the kids will cease.

I wouldn't worry though about behavior or perfect writing etc... because children in schools don't have those either ;)

Tania said...

I don't homeschool, although I would like to.

I take my hat off to you and all the other homeschoolers who decide that the school system is not for them or their children.

Homeschooled children are very lucky indeed!

Good luck to you all.


Anonymous said...

I felt that way the first couple of years. Now I worry more that my inconsistent, undisciplined ways could be a burden rather than a help to my son. So I don't worry about what other people think; I worry that I'm not doing a good enough job. It was better to worry about what other people think! :-P

jugglingpaynes said...

I used to feel that way, when my kids were smaller. Once you have a teenager, you relax more. Or at least, you don't have time for such concerns since they tend to have much busier lives and interact with "them" more than you do. :o)

Peace and Laughter,

karisma said...

NO not anymore. I did feel a bit that way a few years back but as we still mix with other kids who go to school, I have NO problems with my childrens abilities both socially and academically. They learn far more at home and are far more relaxed than other kids we know.

I sometimes wonder if perhaps I am becoming far too relaxed (we went from total classical homeschooling to a more natural approach so its a very big difference in how we approach things.)

Sometimes I must admit I wonder to myself if I am doing the right thing and giving them enough opportunities. Zak does not have the best handwriting for his age but there is no guarantee that he would at school either. I refuse to force him to practice when he finds it boring. He often writes when he feels like it so Im not too concerned. (He went to school for a whole six days at the beginning of the year and he was advanced in some subjects and his writing was the only thing they said he needed practice with. He wanted to go to school but was over it pretty quickly. I heard him telling a new friend the other day that he thought school was simply ridiculous. He thinks everyone should home school!)

Korina Ivatt said...

That would so be me if I home schooled!

Keep up the good work & Merry Xmas.


sheila said...

No, not anymore. My kids are WAY more polite than kids at school are - I've seen it in action too many times lately. They might be learning the imports and exports of Canada but they'd also be learning all kinds of crap behaviour along with it.

When my kids DO something that has me (or anyone) thinking "Ack, what WILD children!" I usually remind my kids that they are ambassadors for homeschooling, and even if they don't care, I sure do, so they'd better be GOOD ambassadors.

Don't go there Kez. It's never worth it. And if someone else wants you to go there, tell them that yes, your kids probably ARE horribly deprived but that you are okay with it, that depriving your kids of certain fundamental school experiences has a certain frivolous frisson to it for you and that god knows you could use a cheap frisson otherwise you'd start drinking at 10am. You need to cultivate a goddamnit attitude to ward off those well-intentioned idiots who think they know better than you.

Anonymous said...

Yes, YES, no, yes, and no.

I feel like I constantly have to justify homeschooling. I feel that I am looked down upon because two of my children are still not reading.

I do not worry about my their behavior too much. They are generally good kids. When they show their wild side, that is another story.

It is not just you. My best friend calls it Homeschool Mom Panic Syndrome. Everyone goes through it.I try and remember the positive and just how much fun we have.

Michelle said...

I DO feel like my kids need to be better than school kids to prove that homeschooling is working. I hadn't thought of it that way. If my kids were in school, I am sure they would be doing fine, but they have some areas that they are average or slightly below average and I worry that homeschooling is to blame and that others think that homeschooling is to blame.

Louise said...

I don't worry too much, when we do spend time with other kids mine seem to be very polite and well behaved, but when it is us at home they seem to be rather wild and noisy-

I don't worry about where they are as far as what level of school they are in for each subject- they are where they are and they do well , they love learning and we all have lots of fun.

I do get a lot of comments the good ones I listen to and pass on to my DH or my Mum those with other opinions are forgotten before they finish saying them.

My 11yo is currently researching scholarships for boarding schools! he has never been to school- I never was very keen on him going to one of the public schools around here as I feel I could do a better job- but I am supporting him to apply to Newington for a scholarship