Something to ponder

“Creativity is just having enough dots to connect…  connect experiences and synthesize new things.  The reason creative people are able to do that is that they’ve had more experiences or have thought more about their experiences than other people”.  Steve Jobs, President, Apple Computers

“You may think that as you get older you gather more experiences.  The reality is, most of us repeat the same experiences over and over again.  Instead of 20 years of experiences, we’ve had the same one year of experience 20 times.

For children, everything is a new experience.  As children we were passionate and creative; our minds filled with limitless possibilities and wonder.  Numerous studies have shown that 98% of 5-year old children are highly creative, while only 2% of adults are.  How did we go from being creative, passionate, playful children to adults filled with burden, rigidity and stress?

One obstacle is our diminished ability to be creative and to live creatively.  A creative mind is a playful mind, one stirred by passion and probability rather than deterred by fear and obligation – a mind that can develop new ideas and bring those ideas to fruition.  As children we view the world with fresh eyes.  Children are not focused – they are collecting dots.  New experiences.  It all changes once we start going to school.  We are taught to memorize and regurgitate facts; to generate particular outcomes.  Peer pressure sets in and we all feel compelled to wear the same brand of sneakers.  We stop thinking for ourselves.  As we get older, we continue through life planning every step – and eliminate dots.  We go to college, we choose a major, and eventually get the best job we can.  What do we have left?  One dot.  We know that dot – our area of expertise – really well but we have nothing else to connect it to.  Instead of collecting new experiences, we become focused on one area.  We no longer try new things.  We continually choose the same path and use the same approaches to living life, neglecting to check whether we are producing the results we really want.”

Stephen Shapiro – Goal Free Living.

To Wii or not to Wii..

So opinions needed..

Is a Wii anything more than another games console? Does it really help hand-eye co-ordination? Does it translate to the real world ie if you played Wii tennis (assuming there is such a thing), would that help when you stepped onto a tennis court? Would you get the same amount of exercise as if you really played?

If you've had yours for a while, do you still use it?

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Don't you just love..

Don't you just love that brief period of time straight after you create a new timetable, or a new schedule, or create a new budget, or start a new exercise routine?  That brief period of time when all feels right with the world?  That brief period of  time when you just know that this will be the one you stick to?  That brief period of time before reality raises its ugly spectre...

Friends

Bear with a musing post please :)

Billy remarked to me the other day "I keep losing friends".  I asked him what he meant and he said "like I used to be friends with x but I'm not anymore, and now I don't see y and z either".  He was referring partly to how he's recently changed from Joeys to Cubs and left some of the younger kids behind, and how some kids that played Auskick last year aren't playing this year, but also to how as his interests have changed, he no longer finds things in common with some kids that he used to.

It started me musing on my friendships.  I read a quote years ago that has stuck with me - "People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime".  I just googled it and found out is part of a poem - you can read the entire thing here.

Are you a person who has lots of friends, or just a select few?  Pete is likely to class anyone as a friend that he's known for a small period of time - especially if they have a beer together!  I'm more particular - I only have a few people that I class as close friends; in fact I can count them on one hand.  Two of them I've never met in real life but I'm just as close to them as my real life friends.  Possibly even closer, because I tend to share more in email than face to face.  My close friends are ones that I feel like I can share anything with - it might be months before we catch up but when we do its just like we were never apart.  They are from all aspects of my life but with all of them there was a connection as soon as we started talking.  These are my lifetime friends.

I also have about half-a-dozen people that I would class as friends, but not close friends - they're mainly other homeschooling mums because that's my social circle these days :) They're ones that I seek out when we're in the same group because I enjoy their company, we might send the odd email or have the occasional get-together outside of those activities, but there's not the same level of intimacy as with my close friends.  If they moved on or we moved on, the friendship would more than likely peter out.  These are my season friends, and in some cases, my reason friends. 

Outside of that I have a lot of people I class as acquaintances.  People I know casually, chat with when we see each other, or even people I just know by sight to smile and say hi to. 

What about you?  A few or lots?

Plenty of time..

Sometimes I get antsy that we don't seem to be covering enough stuff in our "homeschooling" - it usually happens after I've been talking to more curriculum based homeschoolers, or like tonight, as I look around at all the incredible resources we have in our house just waiting to be read / watched / played with. It just struck me though that with the new school leaving age of 17 - I have 9.5 more years of "teaching" (or should that be "learning alongside"!) Billy. Even at the very conservative school estimate of 5 days / week for 40 weeks - that's another 1900 days of learning. Maybe I should just take a deep breath and trust we will cover enough stuff in that time :)

What's the worst that can happen?

In my previous life BC (before child), one of my roles was as network manager for our company's computer networks. As part of that role, I had to create Risk Assessment documents - think of anything that could go wrong with the network, decide what impact it would have, and come up with a plan to put in place in the event it happened. (And yes, it was as boring as it sounds lol).

I'm finding myself using the same skills trying to parent a child like Billy. He is constantly coming up with grandiose schemes, and while my first instinct is always to say "no", I'm trying to do what I can do to turn that into a "yes". So I'm trying to train myself to go through a "risk assessment" in my mind - what's the worst thing that can happen if I say yes? Or can I come up with a scaled down version that we're both comfortable with?

Take his current scheme. In the car on the way home from the library the other day, he decided he could set up a library himself so anyone could borrow our books. Hmmmm... We talked through some of the problems (if its open to anyone, we don't know whether the people will return the books or take care of them, what if the people who came to the house were robbers etc) and that was the end of the conversation. So I thought...

Today he grabbed the label maker & some cardboard so he could start setting up his library. He'd narrowed the idea down to just people we knew in the neighbourhood. Ok, I'm more comfortable but I'm still not that much of a fan of lending out my books.. In the end we compromised on a few of his friends and they could borrow his books. Part of me is still screaming Noooooo though.

So what's the worst that can happen?
* the books will get ruined and / or not returned - I know all of the families he's going to tell about it. I'm pretty sure they'd take care of the books. Most of his books are second hand anyway so it's not really a big deal. I'll try to persuade him to not to lend out his good or special books.
* no-one will borrow any - not a problem for me, but he'd be disappointed. Well, that's one of life's lessons learnt in a gentle way.
* people will think we're weird - hmmm, we're already the weird, homeschooling family. I think we've got that one covered..

So nothing really that would warrant me saying no. Just that it's not what you'd expect someone to do. It's amazing how many times it seems to come down to this for me. All my life (well, as much as I can remember of it), I've tried to fit in, not stand out, be one of the crowd. Its a complete shock to me that I'm doing something as out of the norm as homeschooling. And to have a "weird" child - one who doesn't seem to even notice, let alone care, that they're standing out and doing something "odd" - is way outside my comfort level.

I'm betting I'd better get used to it though. Something tells me its just the beginning!

I wish...

that library books & CDs had a special "find" feature.. So you could just press a button and know where the lost item is hiding in the house.. It would save a lot of time & money.. Anyone want to invent it please?

Dust storm

We're in the middle of a giant dust storm here in the Hunter Valley atm - as is much of the state I think.

This was our view this morning - very eerie.



We've just moved into the bedroom for the day as it seems to be the best sealed room in the house. You can feel the dust down the back of your throat and it's hard to breathe. I'd hate to be asthmatic.

Motivational Quote

So now you get 2 posts from me in 1 day lol. This was today's motivational quote on my screen, and I liked it...

"Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them - every day begin the task anew." St Francis de Sales

Are we a more selfish generation?

I don't remember my mum ever moaning that she needed "me time". I don't remember her ever taking time out for herself. (Then again my sister and I were probably such angels that she didn't need it!)

Did that generation (I'm 37) just put up with it, or were they more content with what they had?

How do you learn to be content and to appreciate what you have? Or is it a case of having opened the Pandora's box of discontent that it can't be contained?

I'd love to hear any thoughts.

ETA Twilight zone music - I just read the latest post from Zen Habits. I've skimmed it and will have a proper read in the morning..

Mud Puddles and Yellow Dandelions

This poem was in my chiropractor's latest newsletter - I thought it was very fitting given my last post.

****

When I look at a patch of dandelions, I see a bunch of weeds that are going to take over my yard. My kids see flowers for Mum and blowing white fluff you can wish on.

When I look at an old drunk and he smiles at me, I see a smelly, dirty person who probably wants money and I look away.
My kids see someone smiling at them and they smile back.

When I hear music I love, I know I can't carry a tune and don't have much rhythm so I sit self-consciously and listen.
My kids feel the beat and move to it. They sing out the words. If they don't know them, they make up their own.

When I feel wind on my face, I brace myself against it. I feel it messing up my hair and pulling me back when I walk.
My kids close their eyes, spread their arms and fly with it, until they fall to the ground laughing.

When I see a mud puddle I step around it. I see muddy shoes and dirty carpets.
My kids sit in it. They see dams to build, rivers to cross, and worms to play with.

I wonder if we are given kids to teach or to learn from?
Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

****

Thank you for all the responses to my self-indulgent post. I'm "digesting" them and will reply shortly.

What if I fail??

**** Warning - self-indulgent, reflective post that I had to get out of my head *****

I'm a perfectionist. If I can't do something well, I just don't do it.

Academically I've always done quite well. At school I was always in the top few in the class. Don't get me wrong, I worked hard but it wasn't a real struggle. When I went to uni I failed a subject in my first year - I was mortified. Failure didn't happen to me!!! The truth was I was .. *ahem* too preoccupied with other things in my life and arrogant enough to think that I didn't need to study for the exam lol. I even went to the lecturer convinced that he'd made a mistake - I couldn't fail! He hadn't and I did. It was the only time, I made sure of that!

I'm good at my main chosen profession of programming, and also good at my 2nd profession of teaching adults. I'm accustomed to doing well at things.

Physically though it's an entirely different story. I'm crap at sports - can't run, can't catch, can't throw. (I sound like Joe the cameraman!). So now that I have a choice I just don't do those things. I don't put myself in a position where I can fail or look incompetent. I had too many years of being the last kid picked on the sporting team :( Now at family events, when everyone else is out playing cricket or basketball, I'll be the one you see on the sidelines volunteering to look after the younger kids or washing up in the kitchen. It doesn't stop me from wishing I wasn't so self-conscious. I'd like to play sometimes but I can't get over the feeling of everyone watching and laughing.

Creatively it's the same. As much as I'd love to draw or paint or sing, I just can't so I don't. It's only in the last few months that I've given myself "permission" to sketch things - no matter how bad it looks. And you know what, I enjoy it! It's in my private journal, not to see the light of day, but hey, it's a start.

Why am I writing this? I have a dream of something creative that I want to do, but I'm scared of starting. I've only told one person, and she'll be asking me very soon how I'm getting on with it, but the truth is, I'm scared. I have all of the excuses under the sun - too busy, too tired, child is too needy.. Really though, it's hard to take that first step - what if I'm not as good as I think I will be? Can I cope with the failure? How do I get started?