Interesting post on the disappearing family-owned businesses

I found this a really interesting blog post - http://zenhabits.net/2008/08/is-our-addiction-to-saving-money-destroying-the-real-america/

The author is talking about a Brit who travels across America trying to utilise the services of "mom and pop" businesses, not corporate chains. It's what I was trying to do in a much smaller way in my "no supermarket" challenge. I'd love to see the documentary or read the book.

Book Review: Animal, Vegetable, Miracle

I read a lot of books, both fiction and non-fiction. I like to think I learn something from every book I read - yes, even the "trashy" romance ones!!

Every now and then though, a book comes along that totally inspires and changes the way you think about your life. "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle" by Barbara Kingsolver did that for me.

Subtitled "One Year of Seasonal Eating", it's about the author and her family's year of attempting to eat only food from the local area. Some of it they grow themselves, some of it they buy from local markets. Some foods they have to give up altogether! They live seasonally - eating what is in season locally rather than something that has been shipped half way across the world.

It combines factual investigations as well as anecdotes about their life and recipes but is a really easy read. The descriptions of their gardens, cooking and pantry were making me drool!! I'm now on my 2nd read before it has to go back to the library, and will be putting it on my present wish list!

I particularly liked the fact that I could relate to their family - they still ate meat, and they worked other jobs as well. "Real life" continued while they changed their lifestyle to eat locally. It's certainly given me a lot to think about and I've already started making changes to the way I shop.

Can I do it???!!

Back in January, I made a resolution to stop being online so much. It was fantastic for a few days, I did great for a few weeks, then started slowly getting back into old habits. Now, once again, I'm addicted :(

Hi, my name is Kerrie, and I'm an internet addict :(

I waste so much time sitting here idly reading stuff. Most of it is really interesting, even educational, but I can waste hours just reading stuff that doesn't really enhance my life in any way. Being away on the weekend was great with no emails - I was still available on the mobile if anyone needed me.

My big excuse is that I need it for work, but even when I'm on here for work I waste time on the net. I recently installed a Firefox add-in called Rescue Time that tracks the time you spend on the computer. You then categorise the sites you visit, software you run etc so you can see how you spend your time. Since I installed it a month ago, I have spent 184hrs on the computer - that's an average of 6 hours per day! Even more shocking - 61 hours of that have been spent under my "blogs/forums" category, 42 hours on email, and 22 hours on "random surfing" - visiting sites that I don't categorise under anything else. Only 23 hours were actually spent "working" (although some of the email time would be work emails). Not very productive :(

I'm trying to get up the courage to have a "no computer" day on Sunday - not turn it on all day. Boy it's going to be tough. But I also need to cut down day-to-day.

The things I tried back in January are worth revisiting:

* Keep a notebook beside the computer so I can jot down things I want to do / look up / write. This worked well - back to using it.

* Move my computer from next to the lounge (which is lovely & comfortable) to a desk (which is probably more ergonomically sound but not as comfortable lol) - this will hopefully stop me sitting down and staying there! Ooops, guess where I'm sitting atm :( Back on the lounge. :(

* Don't use the computer while I'm eating breakfast / lunch - a very bad habit I've gotten into!!! Did I mention it's breakfast time? :(

* Yahoogroups - I moderate / own a few Yahoogroups (LETS, Freecycle and related ones). Rely on other moderators more. I've really stepped back from this and other moderators are doing well. Yay for one thing!!

* Limit my time on the email, and also the frequency I'm checking. Need to get back to doing this, rather than checking every 5 minutes!!

* Work email - I removed my work email address from automatically checking in Outlook, so now I have to manually open it to check. I'm still doing this and it's great. I only check work emails a couple of times / day.

* Blogs / groups - Use folders more to organise my mail. May need to cull?? (eeek!) Have reduced the number of groups I was on, especially the really chatty ones, have gone no mail on many so I only check once / week.

Any other hints for how to manage my addiction? For now, the computer is going off until this afternoon..

Impressions of "An Hour for the Planet" challenge

This was written last night:

"I'm sitting here in bed taking part in my first An Hour for the Planet challenge. It's 9:19pm, I started at 8:30pm. The only light left on in the house is Billy's toilet light - he doesn't like to go to sleep without it. I must find an alternative.

I've been sitting here by candlelight jotting down impressions - it's hard to find a comfortable spot where I can actually see what I'm writing so I've finally given up and turned the torch on so I can write. I feel like I'm cheating!

My strongest impression is how tired I feel. You don't realise how strongly electric lights interfere with our body clocks and internal rhythms. I feel like I'm camping when you're ready for bed by 7:30!

The air is quite chilly tonight. My arms are feeling the nip of autumn while my legs are toasty warm under the doona.

It's quiet now. Earlier the gentle sounds of night were all but drowned out by the CD Billy was listening to as he went to sleep. I've just been in to turn it off and cover him up again.

Now I can hear the tick of the clock, and the occasional "creak" of the frogs in the pond. Before there was the calling of a bird flying overhead - I can't identify what it was but it brought back memories of sleeping in the van outside Gram & Pop's house at Bonnell's Bay.

I have a single tealight candle burning in my oil burner. The oil I used last was a "relaxing" blend - I can smell it subtly on the air. There's also a hint of eucalyptus - I was burning it this afternoon to help Billy's cold.

I feel very relaxed - the hour seems to have lasted much longer. I've learnt that it's impossible to do anything by the light of one candle!

I'm about to chase away the mysterious shadows and the warm yellow glow of candlelight and return to the world of electric lighting - but only long enough to turn a light on to welcome Pete home. Then I'm tucking myself back into bed to sleep."

An hour for the planet

Melinda at Elements in Time is running a new challenge to extend Earth Hour (I saw in mentioned over at Crazy Mumma's blog). Melinda's challenge is to continue turning our lights etc off for an hour each week until the end of May (and by then it will hopefully be a habit).

I've put my hand up for it. My chosen hour is Monday nights - about 8:30 - 9:30pm. By then Billy will be in bed - he's scared of the dark so it wouldn't be pleasant trying to do it while he's awake! Pete is out at squash on Monday nights - I can't see him being keen on it.

My challenges will be:
* I leave the toilet light on for Billy at night because he's scared of the dark. Maybe there's some kind of solar light that would work instead?
* Instead of leaving the loungeroom light on for Pete to come home to, I'll switch it off until just before I go to bed.
* I'll try reading & writing by candlelight. Computer will be switched off.

I'm looking forward to it!

A productive window-sill

Rising bread, raising seeds & growing herbs - gotta love the power of the sun :)

Food

In an earlier comment Miserly Mum asked what sort of meals we eat - huge apologies for not getting back to you earlier!

In a nutshell, we're basic, meat & 3 vege eaters. Pete is doing the CSIRO diet atm which is high in meat, low in carbs. I buy mostly staples and we eat very few processed foods. Bear with me while I take a small meander down memory lane and see how far I've come.

Growing up, Mum worked hard and wasn't really into cooking - meals were more fuel for our bodies than for enjoyment. So when I left home and moved in with a girlfriend, I was a pretty hopeless cook! I was working full-time & going to uni at night, so meals pretty much consisted of cereal, toast, pasta, frozen foods and take-away! (Needless to say I put on a lot of weight during that period!)

Things weren't much better once Pete & I got married - consider the scenario - 2 non-cooks, lots of disposable income, living within 5 mins drive of most of the take-away chains! We were getting pizza delivered several times a week at one stage - I shudder to think of it now! Our idea of cooking was to put frozen pies or cardboard fish, and frozen chips in the oven.. Or if we were feeling *really* adventurous, we'd brown some mince, open a jar of pasta sauce & cook some pasta. On the odd occasion I would cook a roast dinner - on the *very* odd occasion!

8 years ago we built & moved into our current house. We suddenly had a big mortgage and were living further away from the fast food chains. I had to learn to cook all of a sudden! I can't really remember what we ate, but I think it was still a lot of processed foods - jars of sauce, frozen pies etc. We'd slowed down a lot on take-away though and were learning to cook.

5 years ago - now down to 1 income, with a baby that would.not.sleep!! I stumbled across the Failsafe diet. I've no idea why it took me that long since my sister had been involved with it with her girls from very early on but in my defense she was on the other side of Australia and we didn't keep in touch much at that time. That got me more interested in cooking from scratch. I also found the Simple Savings website somewhere in that time - I wish I could remember when. From there I learnt lots of new skills & recipes - I didn't even know it was possible to make some of the staples that I found recipes for! From a eating healthy / being frugal interest, it's now broadened to encompass being mindful of our limited resources as well - and gotten me more into gardening etc. It's really just spun off (out of control??! Lol) from all of those.

Now we very rarely eat processed food or take-away. I make most of our bread & buns from scratch (I love yeast-cooking!), and all of our tortillas. I mince our own meat, make our own jam, sometimes make our own ice-cream. I make yoghurt with the Easiyo sachets - I haven't attempted to make it from scratch yet! I like to give myself some slack - I enjoy it if I choose to do it, but if I *have* to do it, sometimes it just becomes too much like a chore. I got a dehydrator for Xmas so have been using that to dry fruit when I have excess. I make most of our sweet stuff - cakes, biscuits etc, but I haven't found a savoury biscuit recipe that I can make work!

I'm actually struggling to remember what else I do, because it's such a habit now! I have at various times made my own coconut milk, my own yoghurt cheese, my own butter by whipping cream. These ones are things that I may not choose to do all of the time, but it's a skill that I know I could do if I have to and comes in handy when the cupboards are bare!

I still buy things like Thai curry and Tandoori pastes just because it's more cost effective at this stage to buy a small jar and use it every now & then, than to buy a whole heap of foreign ingredients! I haven't attempted my own tomato paste yet but it's on my list next time I have lots of tomatoes.

I buy some of our meat from the butcher (he makes awesome ham, bacon & sausages) and usually pick the rest up (beef & pork, we don't eat lamb) on specials at the supermarket. I usually just stock up on specials rather than buy marked-down meat - I've been burnt a few times with off meat so I rarely take the risk. I usually get chicken from the Steggles outlet shop near us. We're trying to eat fish once / week, which I'll either buy frozen from Aldi or get from the fish markets if we're near it - it's an hour away.

I mainly get fruit & vege at a local f&v shop, but will sometimes pick them up at the supermarket if I'm short on time (or energy!). I used to be the "peas, carrot & corn veges" and "ice-berg lettuce, tomatoes and cucumber salad" type but am trying to be more adventurous with what we eat!

So basically, it's been a slow process, but if I can do it - anyone can learn :)

If anyone else would like to share their journey, feel free to link in the comments. It's heartening for those starting out to realise that not every one was born with a wooden spoon in their hand!

The Story of Stuff

I just watched this quick film - http://www.storyofstuff.com/ - after I read about on Libby's blog (http://libby.withnall.com/2008/03/11/the-story-of-stuff/). Certainly some interesting stats in it - very alarming to hear some of the figures, and interesting to hear about the planned obsolescence. If you're watched it what did you think?

Dehydrator results

My husband cleverly bought me a dehydrator for Xmas (after I told him exactly what I wanted, the model, how much & where to buy it from lol). I tried it out yesterday and today. Yesterday, for it's inaugral dry, I made potato chips (typical of me!) - cook potato, mash with milk, salt & pepper (I also added a small amount of Massel chicken stock), and spread on the drying tray. 12 hours later - voila :) They're not too bad actually - not a bad substitute for the real thing. I think the Gobbledok would approve (ok, who remembers the ad??! Chippy-chippy-chippy lol).

Chips before being broken up (or a big chip doughnut!)

Chippy chippy chippy!

At the fruit shop yesterday I picked up a bag of bruised apples for $1 - today I made dried apples. They taste delicious!

Not a bad haul for $1 worth of apples!

Fighting my addiction!

I'm finding it quite hard to stay off the computer, but I'm managing on the whole. It's really made me realise how much I use it when I start to feel "bored", and how much is habit. Whenever I have time to spare I have to fight the urge to go and blindly surf the internet. What's helping is having a list of things I want to do (and need to do) that doesn't involve the computer. Yesterday I was having a real "I want to stay in bed with the covers over my head" day - wasn't feeling 100% and just wanted to hibernate. It was hard not to just go and spend the time online, but I did manage to get some stuff done, and read a book instead. An improvement? Not sure! I have managed to get heaps done on the other days though - maybe my body was in shock lol.

I really need to get more of a routine going to make use of the time I used to spend online. Early mornings are falling into place - get up, get Pete's lunch ready, drive him to the train (this week anyway since we were down to 1 car), come home, breakfast, do 'essential' housework (eg washing dishes, put load of washing on, make beds, sweep kitchen floor), check email (15 mins) and then shower. That seems to be going ok. It makes a big change from get up, turn the computer on, get Pete's lunch ready, check emails while yelling at Billy to get ready to go in the car, train & back, come home, eat breakfast in front of the computer and stay there for hours with a brief break for the shower!!

Through the day I check emails just before lunch and then again about 4 - I have done the odd check in between times but have been quick about it!

Nights are going ok - I don't let myself onto the computer until Billy is in bed, and then it's a quick check of email / blogs / yahoogroups etc, then into the paid work. I'm officially off holidays on Monday so will have to make sure I don't get into the trap of working every night again. I've even unsubscribed to some blogs!

From Monday we'll be back to doing school work - so once I've showered I'll get the lessons ready and we'll do some work in the morning. I'll have to adapt it over the next few weeks - once we start back into the activities (Pete squash twice / week, Billy drama Tue afternoon) it will change again. I'm contemplating some sort of Flylady routine (eek! lol) to keep me focused - a paper version though not all those emails!! I need to come up with something like that for the garden too - I want to start growing a lot of our veges but something's holding me back from doing it. I think I'm a bit overwhelmed with the thought and need to break it down a bit.

I've started reading Esther Dean's No Dig Gardening and an American book called Lasagna gardening - very similar concept. That's got me inspired - if only it was so #$%@ hot today!!

Guess what I found?!

I finally got a round tuit :) I cannot believe how much extra time I had today - I knew I wasted a lot of time online, but wow!

I made strawberry jam (without it going all over the microwave this time lol!) & multigrain bread rolls, cleaned up the kitchen & hallway which both still had stuff all over the place from our holiday, took down & packed away the Xmas tree & decorations and even did a bit of weeding! And I still found time to sit down and read my book a few times while I had a break!

Speaking of the microwave, I think ours is on it's last legs. It was getting hot on the outside & kept stopping like it was overheating while I was making the jam - I'm feeling that it might be dangerous to keep using.. Now I have to decide if I really want to replace it. I use it mainly for defrosting (mostly bread), melting stuff like butter, & cooking veges (and the jam now). I'll see how I go without it for a few weeks and then decide. Any thoughts? Is there another cost-effective way to cook veges? I steamed them tonight using the saucepan & colander - will keep my eyes open in the op shops for a metal steamer.

We've started on the CSIRO diet / eating plan again - we did it 2 years ago and Pete lost heaps then, he's added it back on so wants to lose it again. I only have a couple of kg to lose but could bid farewell to the muffin top :) We've had 2 meals from the book so far - both have been yummy! Last night was beef kebabs with couscous and harissa, tonight was roast lemon chicken with onion and pumpkin. I'm not doing it to the letter - I am physically unable to eat the amount of meat that it requires!!

I've been looking for a drama class that will take 5 year olds since Master B just loves to act - before Xmas I finally found a brochure of one in Newcastle that's just starting a class for 5-8 year olds. I left a message with them yesterday - they got back to me today and he's booked in. It sounds really good - they apparently will do a lot of playing, movement etc to increase their self-confidence. I think he'll love it! It starts at the end of Jan when Term starts.

Billy is booked into a Junior Scientist workshop run by the libraries tomorrow afternoon - it sounds fun!

Clawing my life back..

A lot of stress dropped away while I was on holidays - I slept a lot better & didn't need to take a headache tablet the whole time I was away which was amazing. I put a lot of it down to the fact that I was virtually unreachable by people. Our society is increasingly instant - we "need" to be contactable immediately no matter where we are - no wonder we can't "turn off". I'm resolving to stop being so instantly available, to stop being online so much, to hopefully reduce stress, and create a lot more time to carry out my other goals for the year.

Some ways I'm going to try to achieve it:

Clocks / watches: A couple of nights before we went away I turned the clock off on my bedside table - we didn't need the alarm so there was no point having it on. It's amazing how much better I slept - if I did wake up I didn't look at the clock and then toss & turn because it was x o'clock and I couldn't get back to sleep. Obviously I won't be able to do this through the week (or Pete would never get to work lol), but I'm going to continue doing it where possible on the weekend. I also stopped wearing my watch while on holidays - how freeing does it feel! Again, I'm going to not wear it unless I need to be somewhere at a particular time.

Mobile: When mobiles first became popular I refused to have one because I didn't want to be able to be contacted if I was out. Once you get your first one though it's hard to go back. How often are the calls & messages I get urgent? Not often I don't think. I've been leaving it on silent and just checking every now & then - if I don't hear it I don't rush to the phone. If it's important, they'll leave a message (downside - paying for the extra message retrieval calls..) Will try it anyway - it worked well on holidays.

Computer: My BIG addiction! I'm going to limit my time on the computer - I tried a few things today and it worked well. I ran the laptop on battery - it goes into hibernate mode pretty quickly and takes a few minutes to come back out of it so it stops me ducking back to look something else up. I'm keeping a notebook beside the computer so I can jot down things I want to do / look up / write (like I did with this blog post!). I've moved my computer from next to the lounge (which is lovely & comfortable) to a desk (which is probably more ergonomically sound but not as comfortable lol) - this will hopefully stop me sitting down and staying there! Don't use the computer while I'm eaiting breakfast / lunch - a very bad habit I've gotten into!!!

* Yahoogroups - I moderate / own a few Yahoogroups (LETS, Freecycle and related ones). They survived for a week without me - if I'm only checking every few hours they *will* survive! I have other moderators - rely on them more.
* Email - email does not have to be instant communication!!! If I get a message through, it does *not* need to be answered straight away!! Limit my time on the email, and also the frequency I'm checking. Can some of the emails be done by snail mail? (eg personal greetings)
* Work email - I used to have my work email go through Outlook because it's a pain to check via webmail. I've had to remove it while I'm on holidays because clients are still sending me work to do (despite knowing I'm on holidays!) - if I saw that there was an unread message I just didn't have the willpower to *not* read it, and then I'd either stress about it or have to answer it. By having it on webmail it's a hassle so I don't check it. So while I'm working I'll connect it to Outlook, while I'm not I'll remove it (or maybe I just won't have the send / receive check it - will see what works best). This will hopefully remove a *lot* of stress and eliminate one of the huge problems about working from home - separating work & home time.
* Blogs / groups - Use folders more to organise my mail. May need to cull?? (eeek!)

General:
* Make a list of jobs to do each day - NOT on the computer or it will just give me another excuse to be on it lol
* Stick to dedicated work time for paid work.
* Read books / write when I sit down at night.

Hopefully all of this will give me time to DO instead of just reading about doing. It'll be a good time to start now while I'm not back in the habit of using the PC - turning on my computer used to be the first thing I'd do of a morning :( Hopefully it will also rub off on the rest of the family - Pete is as bad with the computer and Billy uses the TV when he's bored..

This is a great blog post I skimmed yesterday on a similar topic - http://zenhabits.net/2008/01/3-ways-to-claim-your-life-back-how-to-step-away-from-your-computer/. I just read it in more depth and realised how good it really was!

And now it's time to turn off and go to bed!!!

Today is Blog Action Day

Bloggers all over the world will be discussing the environment on their blog today - what a great way to raise awareness!

I'm not the type of person to campaign or demonstrate on a large scale. Instead I'm trying to change my own habits to tread lightly on the earth in the hope that that will make some overall difference. A couple of quotes I've read recently sum it up for me:

“Few will have the greatness to bend history itself; but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total of all those acts will be written the history of this generation.” Robert Francis Kennedy

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever does” Margaret Mead

I've listed before some of the habits I'm trying to establish to have a positive impact on the environment eg in water & electricity savings. I'm also trying to grow more of our food, cut down on packaging, reduce usage of disposal items like plastic bags, use non-toxic cleaners etc. It's the same sort of things many of you are doing.

For me, the biggest way I'm making a difference is by passing on a responsible attitude & habits to my son. If these sorts of things become second-nature to our children, then hopefully the picture won't be so bleak for their generation. I was explaining Freecycle to Billy this afternoon as a lady was coming to pick up some things I was offering. I explained that just because we didn't have a use for something any more, some one else may be able to make use of it rather than throwing it to the dump - he piped up with "I know - reduce, reuse, recycle"! I was a very proud mum :) (Thanks also go to Bob the Builder for reinforcing that message!)

On the down hill run!

I feel like I'm on the down hill run with my commitments after this week.

Uni on Tuesday was Wk 6 of 12 - half way there! My Cert IV course today was the 3rd last one - we now have a 2 week break before the next lesson. I've got a couple of assignments to do during that time, but at least that's 2 weeks I only have to go down to Newcastle 1 day not 2 in a row.

I also have a website about *this* close to going live. Hopefully I'll knock the majority of the outstanding stuff over tomorrow. This one has been dragging on for quite a while, so I'll be glad to get it "done & dusted".

I'm inching ever closer to freedom! Bring on November!!

"In Praise of Slow"

I reviewed this book earlier in the year - http://kezs-blog.blogspot.com/2007/01/in-praise-of-slow-book-review.html - and part of this came back into my mind tonight as I was trying to hurry Billy's bedtime story because I had "stuff to do". It's well worth a read - discussing things like the Slow Food Movement, alternative medicines, not loading our kids up with activities etc. I'll have to borrow it from the library again and see what I get out of it on a 2nd read.

I finished all of the shopping today for the party - just some stuff I'd left until I went down to Newcastle with time to get it. I had to go down to the chiro - he was very pleased to hear I am cutting down work - he blames my working for my back & neck problems (not surprisingly!!)

Tomorrow we're going up to Mum & Dads to see them - they got home yesterday - it'll be fantastic to see them.

Wednesday

My camera arrived yesterday! My darling hubby picked it up from the post office for me as I was working late, and I got to play with it a bit last night. I think I'll be using it on Auto for a long time, but I'd love to play with all of the settings one day!!! I'll take some proper photos tomorrow.

I also turned down work yesterday. I was asked to run some courses in Term 4 - it was up to me what courses, what days & times etc, and it was really hard to turn it down.. I knew I had to say no for my own sanity, but I had a few mental arguments with myself "maybe I could just do a few days" etc.. But I finally sent the email off to say no. I'm proud of me!!!

Yesterday was my day tutoring at the uni (4 down, 8 to go lol), then today was my Cert IV course (as student not teacher). So I'm a bit brain dead and have a slight headache, early night for me tonight.

List: Things to do after I finish work...

When I left school in 1988, I got a traineeship which meant I worked for the company full-time and they paid for me to go to uni part-time. I finished my degree in 93 and then for some reason that sounded like a good idea at the time, went back for Honours - still studying part-time & working full-time. I finished studying in 95. Pete & I also started our business in 94 or 95 - still working full-time and doing casual programming part-time. We kept that up until I went on maternity leave in 2002. I remember the "new millenium" ticking over - as we were both up programming at midnight 1999.... I also started teaching part-time at an adult community college in 2001 after I had my mid-life crisis. (First? I think I may now be having my 2nd lol)

Once Billy was about 3 months old, I started working from home again and the business has gradually built up to the extent it is now, where I have more work than time to do it, plus the teaching. This year I added in doing my Cert IV Training & Assessment (just in case I got bored lol).

Anyway my point is that for almost 20 years (eek!), there's always been something to do - either work or study. Taking time out to relax has meant putting other stuff off. I don't really have any hobbies other than reading and the internet. I'm going to find it really hard to not have work to do - but I'm really looking forward to it!

So I've come up with a list of things that I've been wanting to find time for to give myself some direction. Some of these things have been on my list for at least 10 years! In no particular order they are:

* organise digital photos on my computer
* organise printed photos (currently just in a big box)
* do jigsaws / puzzles
* re-organise office (tidy up books, set up ready for home-schooling)
* get a household cleaning routine (I don't want to be one of those people who are obsessed with housework - not that I can see that happening lol - but it needs more than the lick & a promise that it currently gets! Billy actually asked me who was coming to visit when I was sweeping the verandahs yesterday :S )
* make pasta
* research family history
* gardening
* learn Italian
* play with photography
* yoga

That should keep me occupied, and hopefully I'll learn to relax while I'm doing it!

Starting to simplify..

I'm slowly starting to simplify my life.

A small step - but I just did a mass delete of emails from several email groups I'm a member of. I was behind a few days and had hundreds of emails - from a glance most of them appeared to be general chat or whinging so I'm not missing anything by deleting!

Yesterday I cancelled swimming lessons for the term. We'd already missed 2 weeks with illness and likely this week as well as he still has a cold. The lessons were Friday morning 9am, and it always seemed to end up in arguments getting there on time as we were both tired & grumpy after a long week. Billy is at preschool for longer hours while I'm working, so I decided to just cancel them. I was prepared to lose the deposit I'd paid, but was pleasantly surprised when she asked if I wanted to transfer it to next term! Bonus :)

Speaking of which, did anyone catch the ACA episode on child burnout the other night? I don't normally watch that show (or any of those!) but that one caught my eye. Very scary..

I've decided to cut Billy's preschool days down to 1 or 2 once I finish work at the end of Oct. I haven't told preschool yet but have told Billy so he won't let me forget :) The director comes back from maternity leave next week, and the acting director (who is also one of Billy's teachers) is going off to another preschool - we'll miss her.

I'm not going to think about work today - it's just making me stressed so will do a Scarlett O'Hara and think about it tomorrow :)

I'm just a girl who can't say no..

to work that is :) I have dreadful trouble turning down work - it seems to stem from 1) the fear that if I turn down work it won't be offered again, and 2) I'm a pleaser - I don't like to disappoint people. I'm going to have to start though. Working, particularly working outside the home, is putting excessive pressure on me and the family. It makes me tired & therefore grumpy, and the stress of getting out of the house at a particular time makes for a very unhappy morning - often ending in yelling & tears (and that's just from me lol). It means Billy is in preschool / daycare for long hours which makes him tired (& grumpy) particularly by the end of the week, and I don't have time to do as many things like cooking & gardening. And we won't talk about the state of the house..

Part of the reason I do it is for the money - I always think "I'll just do it to get the money for x", but then "y" comes along. You know what I've realised? Something new will always come along to "need" money for. We live on Pete's wage ok - not fantastically as we are one of those many "mortgage stressed" families they've been talking about lately - but at the moment my wage is mainly used for preschool (ending in December) and anything extra we want - trips away, purchases etc. Currently it's being used to save for the brewery.

I intend to start trying to cut down all work but particularly the work outside the house - I'm already committed with uni tutoring & some teaching until about Oct. I can start saying "no" to new people, it's hard with existing clients though. How do I say no to someone I've always said "yes" to? Like this week - I'd been asked by a client a couple of weeks ago for a few dates to do some training - I gave him 3 possible dates. He booked me in for 2 of those, so I planned some work at home (BAS etc) for the 3rd date - he then decided he wanted to spread the training across the 3 dates. As weak as I am, I grumbled privately but told him I'd do it. So that's 3 days I'm out this week now, 3 trips down to Newcastle and less time for other things.

Any advice? If I go down the homeschooling route I'll have no choice but to say no, but at least I'll have a reason to give them. But I don't want to use that as a reason to homeschool - even subconsciously.

On a related note, the uni tutoring is unlike what I was expecting. I know it's only been 1 week, but I don't find it very satisfying so far. What I like about training is seeing people light up & get excited when they learn something and I get a kick out of the feedback when I'm teaching. The tutoring is virtually supervising not teaching - I answer questions, and I take them through the exercise, but I'm not connecting with them. I wasn't even sure if they were all alive in some of the classes :) I'm sure I'll connect with some students by the end of the semester, but I have to admit that I'm doing it for the (rather good!) money rather than any satisfaction.

Sorry for such a heavy post!

True confessions

Well I have to admit it - I LOVE a nice, long, hot shower... Especially in winter! It's my thinking time, my 'alone-as-possible-with-a-4-yo-coming-in-talking-to-me' time.. I've tried several times to cut them down - I had my kitchen timer in the bathroom for a while until it disappeared, I tried setting the alarm on my mobile phone and leaving it just outside the bathroom but I had to remember to do it, I've tried a clock in the bathroom (but being blind as a bat without my glasses that didn't work well lol).

So today I lashed out and bought a waterproof shower timer. It's a clock as well so will be useful for hubby getting ready for work in the morning. It was more than I wanted to spend but I only had a choice of 2 where I was - the $3 one was a 4 minute sand-timer which had 2 problems - once again, I'm as blind as a bat so seeing sand going through a timer without my glasses would probably be an issue!, and secondly even if I could see it, it would be too easy to ignore :) A persistant 'beep beep beep' should help!

Will let you know how I go..

(I did take some photos of it, but they have both come out really blurry. I suspect someone has been playing with the camera and stuck their fingers all over the lens again and quite frankly I don't have time to clean it atm..)