Sunday, November 18, 2007

Book Review: Nurture by Nature

Over the last few weeks I've been reading a book called "Nurture by Nature" by Paul D. Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger. It's about finding out your child's Myer-Briggs personality type. Most of the tests you find are aimed at adults, but this book looks at how your child plays with others, thinks, talks etc to determine their type. The reason is not to "label" your child but to help understand them and parent them better (and in my case teach him better).

What an eye-opener! No wonder I tend to regard my child as from a different planet!! From reading the book and doing a couple of on-line tests, I come out as an ISTJ (Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging) but also very close to an ISFJ (Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging) - I was 55% T and 45% F on one test I did. (This is one site that shows an overview of the types that I've copied below - http://www.capt.org/mbti-assessment/type-descriptions.htm). I am recharged by being by myself, like to get things finished, likes to be organised & follow a schedule.

ISTJ
For ISTJs the dominant quality in their lives is an abiding sense of responsibility for doing what needs to be done in the here-and-now. Their realism, organizing abilities, and command of the facts lead to their completing tasks thoroughly and with great attention to detail. Logical pragmatists at heart, ISTJs make decisions based on their experience and with an eye to efficiency in all things. ISTJs are intensely committed to people and to the organizations of which they are a part; they take their work seriously and believe others should do so as well.


ISFJ
For ISFJs the dominant quality in their lives is an abiding respect and sense of personal responsibility for doing what needs to be done in the here-and-now. Actions that are of practical help to others are of particular importance to ISFJs. Their realism, organizing abilities, and command of the facts lead to their thorough attention in completing tasks. ISFJs bring an aura of quiet warmth, caring, and dependability to all that they do; they take their work seriously and believe others should do so as well.


The diametrically opposite type to an ISFJ is an ENTP (Extroverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving). Guess what type Billy seems to suit?!!! Yep :) Recharged by being around people, likes to start things but not finish them, likes to make a mess lol.

ENTP
For ENTPs the driving quality in their lives is their attention to the outer world of possibilities; they are excited by continuous involvement in anything new, whether it be new ideas, new people, or new activities. They look for patterns and meaning in the world, and they often have a deep need to analyze, to understand, and to know the nature of things. ENTPs are typically energetic, enthusiastic people who lead spontaneous and adaptable lives.


It helps in some ways to know that he's not deliberately trying to drive me mad by talking to me all the time and needing to be in the same room. It lets me compensate a bit more and work to his strengths. It also emphasises to me that I really do need time to myself regularly.

It's really given me something to think about as we spend more time together.

4 comments:

Kin said...

Hehe that sounds like me and my girls. Sounds like a good book, I might pick it up next time I make it to the library (like next year)

lightening said...

Hey Kez, I've tagged you for a meme if you're interested. :-)

Mrs. Pivec said...

I read a book like this a number of years ago and, like you, found out why I was having a more difficult time understanding my older. She's ENFP to my ISFJ (SO much like you and your son!). My younger was just a toddler at the time. I'd like to look at this book you mention and do it for both of them again.

The Tin House said...

Kez, I'm going to order this through our library network. My 7 year old (diligent, thoughtful, kind, responsible, engaging etc)is diametrically opposite to master 3yrs....who we say "dances to a different tune" - rowdy, carefree, stubborn, "difficult". I'm it would make interesting reading and moreover, provide some technical insight into coping with the differences. Lisa x