A friend asked me how I was going to go about "being me". I was emailing her, discussing a few things when I realised what the first step had to be. (Actually I'd written the email, hadn't yet sent it and was in the shower when I realised! - how's that for the naked truth lol)
My first step has been to start to "turn off the voices in my head". Does anyone else have a running commentary in their head of what other people think about what you're doing?? I'm now gone 'no-mail' or taken off my daily reading, the forums and websites that tell me "what to do" - I'm sure you all know the type - how to be a better parent, a better homeschooler / unschooler, a better housekeeper, a better money saver etc etc etc. I haven't completely unsubscribed, so I can go back to them if I need advice on something specific, but I'm not getting bombarded with other people's opinions on "how to".
I'm not going to read a self help book or go searching the internet for "how to be me". As silly as that sounds, I was going to...
I've turned off the voices so maybe now I can hear mine.
12 comments:
The running commentary bit, uh huh (that's a wry yes). My husband asks what I'm thinking, just for entertainment, amazed by how many things are running through my head at any moment. Fortunately I much of my thinking time is daydreaming and ideas about writing, kids, art, design, home ... so that competes well to give my inner critic less air time.
Self-help books ... you're right that they can drown out your voice. I like Suji's post on this too.
I'll share my own 'honesty' post soon, it's still under construction.
The voices in my head have enough to say without more worrying about what others think. LOL! Who has time for that?
Is there anyone out there who doesn't have a running commentary in their heads? Yeah I did the same thing with all the groups I belonged to. Going no mail was a huge help!
I think most people have the running commentary. I know I sure do. Most of the time, oddly enough, my running commentary is more about what *I* think of what I'm doing than what *they* do! I am my own worst enemy and harshest critic without a doubt!
Great post Kez!
Sounds like a great first step Kerrie. Just remember you are GREAT and NO-ONE is perfect. Just try and be the best YOU you can be!
Libby
Any voices in my head are drowned out by the voices in my house! :)
I gave up keeping up with the pretty houses and perfect people a long time ago. I love my crazy life and I think I do a pretty good job at this mothering business.
I still read a lot, like parenting books to give me more tools and organization books to help me pretend I'll ever get organized, but I avoid preachy/perfect things in all forms like the plague. Otherwise I just feel like a deadbeat, and what's the fun in that? :)
I used to but thanks to some other forces in my life (bipolar and a wacky family) a shrink helped sort that out too! It is a difficult process but the freedom of not caring is amazing!
Hi Kerrie
I haven't been in blog land for a while,I guess I was having a 'time out' because my inner voice told me to.I am glad to be back and I am now homeschooling too.
Good luck with the gym,be wary of the BodyPump class.Body Balance is nice though.
Tracy
Thanks! I'm so grateful to have some wonderful friends here in blogland!
I have done the same at times in the past, though I generally can now look at my friends lives without getting myself wound up in that way. But turning off the voices of the experts has been a key for me. IMHO, we've become a society crazy about 'experts'--we've got 'em for telling you how to dress, eat, parent, have a happy marriage, keep house, decorate, invest, plant flowers, shop for best deals, manage your clutter, ....aaarrghh! How did it get to a place where we the average person feels they need to consult an expert (TV show, online, a book, much less in real life) before deciding what colour to paint his/her walls? Crazy!
:-)
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