I've been thinking of what word I could use this year and had pretty much settled on "respect" - respect for family, friends & myself, but I had one of those blinding flashes that come on every now and then. Respect for myself was really the major part of what I was reaching for.
So I hereby declare this year to be:
2010 - The Year of Being Me. "I yam what I yam"
Yeah, it's more than one word, but that's kind of the point. This year I want to focus on discovering myself. I'm basically insecure and have spent most of my life trying to fit in. I want to be able to do what feels right to me without worrying about what other people think, or what some 'expert' says to do, or what every else is doing. I want to do things I *want* to, not what I think I *should* do. I want to be able to read what other people are doing and think "wow, that really works for them, that's great" rather than beating myself up because they sound so much more fun / with it / caring / focused etc than me.
I have a long way to go - even while I'm typing this I'm thinking, "Gee that sounds selfish - what will people think??!"
In the long run though, I think if I'm more secure in myself, it will reflect favourably in my relationships with others. Or maybe that's just me making excuses so people will still like me :)
I have no idea how I'm going to achive this, but I'm putting it out there. And I'll just keep repeating to myself - like Popeye, I yam what I yam.
12 comments:
Oh Kez.. it's sooo good to hear someone else say they want to do more for themselves this year.. my goal is the same. Instead of doing what everyone wants and putting myself last all the time, I'm going to have some more 'me time' and say no more often..
So selfish as it might sound, I'm joining you too :)
As the saying goes "together we stand, divided we fall..."
Best of luck,
~Nay
Love it! Thanks for sharing so transparently. I can relate to much of what you've written. I don't think you're being selfish at all - I think if you're happy in your own skin, the people around you are positively affected!
Well done Kez. You're not selfish at all. I am clinical psychologist so I should know. Haha
Just putting all those thoughts into words is a great place to start. That takes courage. Just for fun, here's a suggestion ...
* Pick a CONTAINER (eg. a nice big glass jar, a pretty bowl, clay jug or whatever you'd be happy to look at for the next year) and a collection of SMALL OBJECTS (coins, pebbles, shells, seed pods).
* Try to catch yourself doing the right thing (in this case respecting yourself, doing all the things you just wrote about). Every time you do, move one of your little objects into your container, as a visual acknowledgement that you're working towards your goal.
Take it or leave it, I just like a chance to share an idea! Either way I'm happy for you, and look forward to hearing about the journey, and reading an end-of-year post about how it all went.
Enjoy being a yam!
fantastic idea. my husband struggles with knowing who he is and what he wants too. i think it is important for adults to come to grips with this and do more for themselves, do more to people happy individuals, and not devote EVERYTHING to their children. we don't stop existing as individuals just because we create a family. we are still important.
I think it's a great goal for the year. And I think you need to stop being so hard on yourself. You're a great person and it's about time you realized it! Much as I LOVE blogs they can make one feel a bit "less than" at times because most of time we blog the good stuff and not the rest.
Libby
Good for you Kez! I am closet insecurist (not a word Iknow OL) as well. I love that you choose a theme each year, what a fabulous idea!
Good on ya Kez :) Actually, your word is the opposite of selfish if you think about it. Getting your own house in order is necessary before you can power on taking care of everyone else's!
I have so been there! At times I still am there, but age and experience have a wonderful effect on my need to do what others want me to.
Your other commenters are right. You are not selfish. To take care of yourself makes you a better person for caring for your family.
Peace and Laughter,
Cristina
Sounds great to me! If everyone would just be themselves instead of trying to impress others, the world would be nicer place! I look forward to getting to know who you yam!
With me its pretty much what you see is what you get! (Yes that means lots of Hugs and smoochies! I am good at those!) mwah xoxoxoxoxx
I echo everything Mr/ Ms Spammer says (LOL) unless it was vulgar and rude. :) Anything that makes you smile my dear, wonderful friend cannot be selfish in any way.
I hope you will have the best year yet. Here's to self-discovery!
What great idea - having a theme - and what a great theme you have picked for the year - good luck.
:-)
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